The Fastest Man Alive - Playing Catch Up

At some point in every person's life comes the appreciation for speed.  In the world of comics, when comparing the speedsters, everyone is trying to see how close they can come to the one true speedster, the Flash.  This is a brief point of notice for all of those writers and creators who create stories around a speed demon.

I love the aspect of a speedster.  I also love that there are different levels of these ultra fast characters in the comic universe, from martial arts masters like Shang-Chi and Iron Fist, to Spiderman and Deathstroke, up the line to characters like Aquaman, Quicksilver, Aurora and North Star, Wonder Woman, Superman, and eventually, the big red blur himself, The Flash.  The problem I have is that in most cases, writers fail to show the truly improbable circumstances of 'catching' a speedster.  The BEST example of this shortcoming is from the DC Universe cgi short "Who Do You Trust".  In this awesome short, the Joker manages to blast the ground from under the Flash.  - - - hmmmmmm.  I'm having a hard time ignoring this comic faux pas.

In my opinion, the Flash, by far the fastest of the speedsters, creates incredible writing challenges to maintain.  Writing a story that can capture the essence of his speed while making the story last longer than two pages requires a villain and the creativity level that matches his speed.  The best example of just how fast the Flash is can be seen in the 'DC Universe Story - MK Chapter 1 - The Flash'.  YouTube it, it's WORTH IT!  In this CGI set up for the fight that starts between Deathstroke and the Flash, Deathstroke is walking down the ravaged streets when a short blur appears, then appears several more times before his hyper senses realize its the Flash.  What is awesome about this scene is that you don't see the blur approaching Deathstroke, you only see it (as I would assume) when Flash slows down enough to do something to Deathstroke (probably bump him so he doesn't knock his spine through his meta-human skin).  It may not be the most stunning visual display for an entire movie, but when you understand the concept of being able to move faster than light, it's a powerful image that makes you smile and want to run again.

Flash and other speedsters aren't unbeatable, but they are some of the most dangerous opponents that those with normal to above normal reactions times and/or speed will face.  The best method for us is to defeat them is mentally when they stop to talk.  Let's face it, when you have that kind of speed, bragging is part of the package.

VERSUS...Green Arrow v. Hawkeye

The battle of the Archers!

I've never met a person who claimed to be an archer but they must be seriously intense people. Take a look at the characters in comics: Green Arrow, Hawkeye, Trick Shot, Merlyn, and even Archer of 'Archer and Armstrong'had a pretty 'touchy' personality at times. It must be the thought of seeing that long shaft hanging out of the wrong target if they

missed that makes them have such an intense personality.

But I digress...

This is about the two most infamous archers in the industry who also seem to have similar preferences when it comes to women.

Green Arrow, Oliver Queen, not Connor Hawke.

The story of how Oliver Queen became the infamous archer known as Green Arrow is similar to the story of Tom Hank's 'Castaway'. A big difference is that in Oliver's story, the volley ball that became 'Wilson' was Oliver's self-made bow he used to survive on that deserted island before being rescued.

Queen lost his wealth but maintained the bow. He honed his skills to mastery level being able to shot an arrow into the barrel of a gun before the shooter could fire it. Green Arrow's initial run in the superhero game was based not just on his master archery skills, but the trick arrows he used as well. Having lost his wealth and being something of a new age Robin Hood, Green Arrow became a voice of the 'common people'. I like Green Arrow's attitude and the premise of his personality, which I think writers have yet to utilize properly.

Although being pushed to the personal limits of his life and nearly rebuilt himself yet again (one of Queen's overlooked character having withdrawn from the vigilante spotlight, Arrow strength is that he rebuilds himself more times than Madonna).

During the "Longbow Hunters' saga, Queen dropped the trick arrows and went back to the basics of the simple bow and arrow. This earned him the respect he hadn't had since his initial pairing with Green Lantern to address political and social issues back in the 70s.

Until recently, the strength of Green Arrow lay in his archery skills. After yet another rebirth, Green Arrow was trained by a martial arts master assassin who helped Green Arrow develop his body into a living weapon. As a side note, just because Green Arrow 'made' his body into a living weapon, has blonde hair and wears a green costume, do not confuse him with Iron Fist.

Hawkeye, Clint Barton: vigilante, S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, Avenger.

Hawkeye started his career out in the circus and was billed as 'the world's greatest marksman'. A special note here is that Hawkeye started his training

when he was young and under the tutelage of Trick Shot, a master archer, and the Swordsman, a master of unarmed combat and bladed weapons. His time in several circuses have also made him a very accomplished acrobat.

Hawkeye didn't have the most ideal life. Having lost his parents early in his life, being deceived by his mentors and brother and left for dead, Barton is not a very trusting person but is very strong-willed and confident (often called stubborn and arrogance).

Nevertheless, what seems like an obvious match-up is not. Green Arrow should be respected for his abilities, especially for having developed and mastered them so late in his life. He is one of the greatest archers in comics

when considered in JUST that area alone. Even with his additional martial arts training, my money goes on Hawkeye.

While I mentioned earlier that Green Arrow had trained his body to be living weapon, all weapons are not equal. Any one can be taught to become a living weapon, but not all weapons are the same. You have to look at the years of training and guidance it took to make each weapon. Barton is more focused and had been doing his antics longer than Queen. More to the point, Hawkeye has more that just archery to his skill base and it should again be noted that he is not called the 'world's greatest archer' but the 'world's greatest marksman'. Hawkeye's skills as a marksman put him in Bullseye and Punisher's category, not Green Arrow's.

So again, my money's on Hawkeye. I give him marksmanship in multiple weapons, youth and focus over Green Arrow.

I just hope they do him justice in the movie.

VERSUS...Shazam! v. Hercules

SHAZAM! As Captain Marvel, Billy Batson is endowed with the wisdom of Solomon. A wisdom of scholarly knowledge that I would equal to the alien intellect of a certain Kryptonian if not more superior. Shazam's wisdom allows him to speak and understand many different languages, which Superman cannot without study. Shazam also possesses the strength of Hercules, which although puts him in the same class as Superman, I would argue that the 'reality-based power of Superman, peaks his strength around 80 tons where his power must then become focused to handle heavier loads. Hercules is simply a class 100 being. Given that Shazam possesses the strength of Hercules, my argument stands that he could be stronger than Superman. The stamina of Atlas. This power makes him one of the most formidable heroes in the DC universe simply because it makes him nearly inexhaustible from extreme physical assaults and, in his Shazam form, he does not need to eat or sleep! The power of Zeus. When you look at all of the components that make Shazam the character that he is, it's a surprise that we look at Black Adam for being the more dangerous of the two. The power of Zeus makes him invulnerable to the same magics that harm Superman, including mental spells. No Darkseid controlling this powerful mortal!

Likewise, Captain Marvel has recently been using this power of Zeus to strike his opponents while evading them himself. The lightning bolts also transform him back and forth to Shazam and produce the healing effect at a much greater speed than any other character I can think of! Despite having the strength of Hercules and the stamina of Atlas, Shazam also has the invulnerability of Achilles, a power that further protects him from mental attacks as well.

Finally (!?!), Captain Marvel possesses the speed of Mercury, which not only enables him to move at the speed of light, but also to fly. Again, with all of these incredible powers to work with and from, the only thing that keeps Captain Marvel from being one of the most respected powerhouses in the industry is the handling of the character in any story he's in. Alex Ross' rendition of him in Kingdom Come is the perfect depiction of power and regal appearance with the 'boy-like' charm that is constantly tied to him. It's this boy-like charm that always ruins Captain Marvel's rep in the industry.

The one thing that keeps bringing him back is how he handles the big red 'S'. Still the best handling of a character like Shazam was Alan Moore's rebirth of the Miracleman in the early 80s. I don't think you have to get

as dark as Moore did to make the Captain a great character. Superman is the biggest humanitarian there is, and Captain America is a still locked to his 40's values, so why can't someone do the Shazam the same justice and keep him at the top of

the favorite charts?

Hercules: actually, to coin the Marvel Comics phrase,... 'Nuff Said!' Hercules is to rowdy teenagers what Captain Marvel is to adolescents. It's hard to be humble and reserved when you are the Prince of Power. As the most notable deity of strength and fabled accomplishments that create legends, Hercules is a superstar that has and will transcend time.

As previously stated, Hercules is a class 100 rocker simply because he IS the Prince of Power. What does that mean? Simply this: all prominent deities have specific qualities that make

personifications of that trait. Hercules' prominent qualities are his bravery (since childbirth by killing TWO snakes in his crib) and strength. Hercules is an Olympian and therefore possesses tissue, muscle, and attributes that far exceed human abilities. These attributes alone make Olympians extremely long-lived and possessed of superhuman strength, durability and stamina. The average Olympian can withstand extreme physical assaults such as high caliber gunshots without injury. Hercules is of a class of Olympian that possesses the ability to harness extreme

mystical power. For Hercules, this manifestation of mystical power comes in the form of

strength. Hercules is the strongest Olympian there is. To add to this incredible title, on Olympus, home of his 'race', Hercules is unbeatable.

Still, Hercules is not just a muscle-bound bully. As an Olympian, Hercules is skilled in combat, especially Greco-Roman wrestling, boxing, and archery. Hercules has engaged in so many battles with armies and single-handed combat for centuries that he is constantly looking for the next challenge, A favorite 'sparring' partner is the mighty Thor.

Hercules also possesses some immunity to magic, the ability to run at speeds over 100 mph (due to his incredible leg muscles), and leap hundreds of feet into the air.

So what is the tale-of-the-tape? One good fight!

I will give Shazam speed and his ability to fly an advantage over Hercules, but Shazam is 'endowed' with the strength of Hercules, while Hercules is the Prince of Power. Like many kind-hearted heroes, Shazam would not realize the threat of combat with Hercules until it was too late. Hercules at the same time would relish the battle (and any opportunity to bestow 'the Gift') with an opponent as worthy and powerful as Shazam. But when the stakes rise, Shazam possesses something that Hercules is not totally immune to: the power of Zeus.

A few of those bolts will cause some serious problems and not just for Hercules. After being struck with his father's magic lightning, Hercules will more than likely snap. In my mind, that snap will be Shazam's limbs. Hercules has withstood attacks from Mjolnir, Thor's mystic hammer and since he is his father's son, will be able to survive the bolts from Shazam.

I would say that Shazam is one of the beings capable of providing a good battle with Hercules, but Hercules is legendary for his miraculous feats and shutting down Shazam would be a fitting addition to the list.

VERSUS...She-Hulk vs. Wonder Woman

She-Hulk: approximately 6'7" tall, 650 lbs.

Powers: Through a blood

transfusion from her cousin (the infamous Bruce 'The Hulk' Banner), She-Hulk possesses superhuman strength, stamina, and durability. She is also stated to have superhuman speed, reflexes, and agility.

She-Hulk has been around. Despite getting a big boost of power from one of the heaviest of heavy-hitters, She-Hulk has been an Avenger and member of the Fantastic Four. People tend to forget that just because your super strong doesn't mean you're unbeatable, and as far as Avengers go, you don't go out on missions as a team member without training. Ergo, not only has she had 'danger room' training, she's been put through the ropes with Captain 'nth combat-commando' America. Even the Riddler would be a worthy opponent after Cap's training.

What I like about She-Hulk is that she's got a solid frame. Don't get me wrong, I like a dainty, very feminine girl as much as the next guy, but let's be honest,... when you're sluggin' it out with the big boys against the baddest of the bad boys, seeing Wanda or the Wasp ain't gonna make you feel better about your chances of winning.

What I don't like about She-Hulk is more than just looks. The cute names like 'Shulkie'? What the hell? How is she going to get any respect with allowing ANYONE to call her names like that. But really, that's a by-product of my other problem with her: she always seems to be on the fence about being a hero.

It's like she's thinking, "I don't want to be on the team, but if you need me I'll do it." No, She-Hulk, we don't need you if you don't want to be here. Saving the world, or even a city, is a commitment, not a "I'll check my calendar to see if I'm busy"-thing. Here's a little something to think about, She-Hulk, "With great power comes great responsibility." Somebody at Marvel must remember that when they're writing or editing her character. Also, I prefer the thick-frame on She-Hulk (as I mentioned

earlier). She doesn't have to be a man-brute, but what's wrong with carrying a little muscle in a feminine guile (as I've added for visual effect) as opposed to the rail-girlish frame with all that power? She's reportedly the heir-apparent for of the strongest females in Marvel. Why not let it show.

Wonder Woman: approximately 6' - 6'3" tall, and somewhere between 170-225 lbs.

Powers: created from the clay on the island of Themyscira and endowed with 'gifts' from six deities, Diana has the ability to draw

strength , durability, and stamina from 'mother earth' (Demeter), making her extremely powerful. From Athena, the goddess of wisdom and war, Diana has "great wisdom, intelligence, and military prowess". Nearly all Amazonians are skilled in the art of warfare and Diana bested them all to bear the mantle of the

ir champion. The Amazonian army, believed to possess legendary fighting skills, can be equated to the male Spartans in combat. Just so it's clear,

this is training that Cap can't teach you in a few sessions a month. It's an inherent ability to have the military thinking skill that you must learn at birth or a very early age.

In addition to this, Diana has been gifted by Artemis with the 'Eyes of the Hunter and Unity of the Beast' as well as 'Sisterhood with fire, so that men's hearts would be open to her'. The last part is partially embedded in her lasso which commands men to speak the truth to her when bound by it. The other part of this sisterhood with fire is that she is immune to harm from normal or supernatural flame. Her gifts from Artemis give her heightened sight and hearing of the beasts, which would put her in the realm of Wolverine (maybe Aquaman), if not quite Superman's level.

Added to this is her gift from Hermes, which is speed. This speed enables her to defy gravity (fly) at half the speed of light. Used through her physical feats, Diana can easily deflect any moving object coming in her direction with her virtually indestructible bracelets as well as "process information at an incredibly fast rate."

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is this: She-Hulk is much stronger than Wonder Woman is, but so is Supergirl and Power Girl. I would say strength-wise, she's probably talking about Thundra's level. But if they were just going to lift weights, She-Hulk would be the winner hands down. But this is combat and that means doing more than lifting heavy objects. Wonder Woman has bested Supergirl, Power Girl and even Superman because she's a better fighter. She was raised in a culture that taught fighting that made her equal to any man and she bested all those in that

community. She was also gifted by the gods with additional powers, including healing herself through the power of Earth.

PS: Gina Carano's got my vote to play Diana in a movie.

VERSUS...

This is clearly the year of the 'hero': 'The Avengers', 'G.I.Joe: Retaliation', 'The Amazing Spiderman', 'The Dark Knight Rises', and 'Dredd' (as in Judge Dredd). It has been said that there are only about some seven true heroes archetypes of which all others are just derivatives; hence this segment called 'VERSUS'.

VERSUS will feature two characters who are similar, but from different comic universes (for the most part anyway). So, without further delay..., ladies first.

The Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Heroes animated series

Originally airing in 2006, this latest incarnation of the best-known 'family' of heroes joined Nick Toons in September of 2009. As the earliest family of heroes (before the 'Bionic Six' or Disney/Pixar's 'The Incredibles') nearly every creative team outside of comic books likes to gear the storyline of the Fantastic Four to a family audience from a Norman Rockwell era. I'm not sure these 'creative teams' pay attention to the gaming industry and what is selling. My personal opinion: they're using the characters to sell toys and other 'kid products' and to hell with the true fans. But I digress...

The good thing about this new series is the artwork. In today's animation hits, the artwork in this series is appealing enough not to distract the viewer from comparing it to the 1967 series. Still, as good as the artwork is, the storyline is its nemesis. Let's talk characterization.


Reed Richards - Mr. Fantastic. The world's smartest person, yet for some reason writing his character as the over-engrossed in fringe theories and analysis, nearly totally detached from the real world is as outdated as a stupid sports-jock. How is it that the Professor from Gilligan's Island has more depth than Reed? Better yet, how come Reed isn't more like Indiana Jones? DC's has two famous stretching characters (Elongated Man and Plastic Man) and I think both of them have a bigger fan-base than Reed. In my book, Dr. Doom is wasting his time considering Reed anything but pathetic.



Susan Richards - The Invisible Woman. One of the best changes of many of the Fantastic Four story lines is that Susan is the most level-headed person of the group, proving the old adage true: behind every successful man is a smart woman. Susan obviously has her hands full. investigated to her full potential, Susan is one of the most formidable characters in the comic universe. Unfortunately, she got placed with bad cast (again).



Johnny Storm - The Human Torch. I can't think of any kid who wouldn't/didn't want to be the Human Torch. I know I was upset that they replaced him with Herbie in the 70s, but other than his 80's punk hairstyle, his annoying, overplayed smart-ass antics leaves me begging for Herbie to be the fourth team member. Even for the movies, Johnny's childlike attitude is outdated.


Ben Grimm - The Thing. They finally made the Thing look more like the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing from the comics. I can live with the 'sweatpants', but think he would look better in shorts (not briefs). Other than that if I have anything negative to say about Ben it's... I don't understand how a former college football player/trained astronaut/test pilot, whose current strength level allows him to get into brawls with the Hulk, can take so much crap from Johnny. Someone better pull a clue from Paul Chadwicks 'Concrete' or Mike Mignola's 'Hellboy'.


The series is cliche and all the old villains and characters are there. Unlike the new Spectacular Spiderman animated series, the Fantastic Four characters are so two dimensional I think Marvel hired kids from a high school creative writing class. I like the Fantastic Four for all of their 'possibilities' that some of the great writers and creative teams of comics have shown us, and Dr. Doom is one of my all-time favorite villains. I like my fantasy escapes to have some semblance of realism in it to pull me into it. I'm a pretty diehard fan for comics, anime and animation, but I could only watch three episodes before pulling the plug on it.

Character Preview: Spiderman

Since I started with the Web-slinger, I figured I might as well do my POV about him. Although Spiderman is not one of my 'must read' characters, I have to admit I like him. To me, not only is he one of the icons of the comic industry, he is also one of the most under appreciated one, which is only par for the course for Peter Parker.

So, in spite of the fact that most of our comic characters are 'practically' immortal, let's start at the beginning. Peter Parker was 16 years old when he was bitten by a radioactive/genetically altered spider, giving him the proportionate strength of a spider. The 'proportionate strength of a spider'? What does that mean? Time for a little couch potato science.

Being somewhere between 5'6" and 5'7" tall, and about 150-160 pounds, Parker is about 60 times the size of a one inch spider. If the 'genetically altered' spider is of the tarantula family, the he's about 16 times larger. I'm not sure how much a spider can carry, but the average ant can carry 50 times its weight. I'm going to side with the thought that Spiderman can lift (at least) 50 times his weight as well. At about 160-pounds, that's lifting 8,000 pounds, or 4 tons. I think we can all agree that a genetically altered spider might be able to lift a little more, so be wary of this Spider's grip.

Let's talk speed and agility. The average spider moves pretty fast and has some pretty quick, jerking movements. Now, imagine a human whose muscles can lift 4 tons moving a sinewy 160 pound frame with uncanny reflexes. To me, it's quite understandable how Spiderman can dodge a hailstorm of projectiles. With a 'spider sense' that compensates for Spidey only having two eyes instead of eight, getting the jump on the web-slinger is not going to be easy, and getting punched would be like getting hit with a steel ball attached to a flail.

So, you're a sixteen year old kid capable of lifting 4 tons, amazingly quick reflexes, unparalleled equilibrium and a heck of an early warning sense for danger. Not bad, unless you're tangling with a serious bad-ass super villain. But for Parker, that's where most people begin to under rate him.


As I said, Parker is sixteen years old. How many sixteen year olds do you know who can develop a synthetic compound that can be sprayed from a cartridge from your wrists, and take about an hour before it dissolves? Not many. So yeah, Parker is a geek with cool powers. What makes Spiderman a great character is the writers who understand that unlike writing the Power Pack, Spiderman has a great sense of humor and deals with some pretty common issues that most of us have (or are) dealing with like money, girls, getting through school while balancing some personal values. I'm pretty sure that each of us have wanted to fly like Superman at some point in our lives, but I wouldn't mind taking a 'ride' in the web-slinger's red boots for a day.